How do I grasp everything and don't

I begin by believing you and not, this is done by being a sheep and following what you say, yet I also am skeptical the whole time and so doubting what you say and I personally think at the things I don't know and already know the same way and finally I do this for everything I encounter and think of. I do this because you deserve what you want and I deserve what I want and finally we can have both because those parts of knowledge also exist.